A friend of mine alerted me to this here face recognition gizmo. You upload a photo, and the gizmo compares your face to a database of celebrity faces and then tells you who you looks like. (You have to register to use the site, so it also may enter you into a database for future eugenics experiments, as far as I know.) Finally, science has found a way for us to definitively, empirically fill in the "What Celebrity I Look Like" blanks in our online personal ads.
You are, of course, wondering who the Internet decided I look like. If you're reading this, there's a good chance you've seen my actual face (the cartoon icon above and to the left strikes me as a reasonable facsimile, but perhaps I flatter myself) -- so you tell me how accurate this list is:
- Larry King
- Eugene Levy
- Gary Oldman
- Elton John
- Elvis Costello
- Wen Jiabao
- Keanu Reeves
- Aki Hakala
- Rosa Parks
- Richard Avedon
Apparently, I triggered the "chunky nerd-glasses" subroutine in the face-matching computer. Although Keanu isn't wearing glasses in the photo they matched me up with, so I don't know. And I have no idea what Rosa Parks is doing here. I mean, of course I'm honored, but...
All I can say is that any day in which the Internet tells me that I look like Larry fucking King is not a good day.
I am very afraid to find out who the internet thinks I might look like. I think it might match me with someone even more distressing than Larry fucking King.
Posted by: minty | May 17, 2006 at 04:11 PM
I can definitely see the Wen. Halloween costume idea?
Posted by: michelle | May 17, 2006 at 04:39 PM
Yeah, but what about a day when the internet compares you to Elvis Costello?
I never get told I look like a Celebrity. I often get told "I knew a girl who looked JUST LIKE YOU in high school." Except it's never my high school.
Posted by: Erin | May 17, 2006 at 05:18 PM
See, but, here's the thing. I love Elvis Costello. Lots of people love Elvis Costello, but not for his looks. He's just kind of an odd-looking gentleman. So, although in many ways a comparison to Elvis Costello would be flattering, looks is not one of those ways. It's like saying, "You can dance as well as Stephen Hawking!"
(Although I do remember in "Just One of the Guys," one of the reasons Sherilyn Fenn had the hots for Terry was because he "dresses like Elvis Costello." Am I remembering that right? Still, it wasn't because he had the facial features of Elvis Costello.)
When I had a beard, people used to tell me I looked like Stephen King. Similarly non-flattering. Say what you will about Mr. King's oeuvre, he's not a handsome man. Particularly. Tastes vary, of course.
Posted by: Jerry | May 17, 2006 at 05:39 PM
Mine was flattering, yet completely off.
In descending order of who I allegedly favor:
Winona Ryder, Evangeline Lilly, Michelle Yeoh, Kate Hudson, Renee Zellweger, Julianne Moore, Camilla Parker Bowles (um, yeah, not so flattering), Hillary Swank, Jennifer Garner, and Kareena Kapoor.
Who are Michelle Yeoh and Kareena Kapoor?? (lazy me)
Posted by: lastewie | May 17, 2006 at 07:04 PM
In descending order of who I allegedly favor:
Shiri Appleby (of the Roswell TV series), Andy Roddick (?), Julie Christie, Carson fucking Daly, Carrie Underwood, Bill Paxton, Alicia Silverstone, Linda Hamilton, Jamie Lee Curtis. Jesus! (that's an exclamation, not another comparison) This thing is weird.
By the by, I think Elvis Costello is very attractive. And strictly in a "I would totally do you even if you weren't famous" sort of way. Honestly. I've thought about it for a whole 10 minutes.
Posted by: I Zimbra | May 18, 2006 at 12:24 PM
Um, funny you should mention Stephen fucking Hawking. Guess who I look like??? Number one on my results. Not that the guy ain't a genius, but hey. Not so good for the ego, you know? Oh, but I look like a 65 year old Liv Ulmann too. Guess that ain't so bad. Other celebs I resemble: Isaac Stern, Martin Sheen.
I hate the internet.
Posted by: suz | May 25, 2006 at 11:31 PM